Life was already a challenge for Michelle.
When she learned she was pregnant she also learned that she would be going through this as a solo parent. She knew it wouldn’t be easy and she would have to work hard to build a good life for her baby and herself. During a regular appointment Michelle’s doctor discovered the baby had a low heart rate. The wish for a natural birth evaporated into an emergency C-section. The operation, although frightening, was a success and baby Jordan was born.
Almost immediately though, everything she planned went out the window. Just when she thought they were out of the danger zone, Michelle noticed Jordan’s eyes weren’t operating normally. Told by doctors he would grow out of it, at his four-month birthday, the world stopped: her baby had retinoblastoma, eye cancer, in both eyes.
The only place that could help at that time was the Toronto Sick Kids Hospital. They specialized in eye cancer.
She and baby Jordan immediately flew across the country to start cancer treatment.
“Imagine having to wear gloves for safety to change your baby’s diapers”
The cure was torture. Michelle felt helpless; only able to provide love and comfort for her frightened and hurting little son. Nurses told her not to cry because the baby was attuned to her emotions. “Imagine having to wear gloves for safety to change your baby’s diapers,” Michelle recalled from those dark days. “Because the cancer treatment going through his system was so toxic.”
Alone at the small Ronald McDonald House, Michelle scavenged the internet looking for a kinder cure. A miracle cure. There was none. She had to put her baby through multiple, painful procedures, flying back and forth across the country from Calgary to Toronto to do it. In the end Jordan lost one eye and his hearing was damaged by the chemotherapy treatments.
She felt alone and vulnerable while her bank account drained. Her job security was uncertain at that time and was further complicated by taking additional time off to bring her baby to Toronto for treatment and ongoing medical procedures.
Meanwhile, Michelle pushed down her own suffering. During an appointment at the Alberta Children’s Hospital, a social worker understood that Michelle needed help. It was obvious to the professional; Michelle was not at her best at exactly the moment when her very best was needed most. That’s when Michelle discovered Helping Families Handle Cancer.
“Relief doesn’t even cover how I felt”
After assessing the burdens Michelle faced while getting her son the help he needed, Helping Families stepped in to lighten the load. Expenses of travel, accommodation, custom orthotics and hearing aids, and even partial groceries, which were becoming harder and harder to pay for, were now taken care of.
“Relief doesn’t even cover how I felt,” said Michelle, recalling the day she received the email telling her she’d been approved. “Somebody cared.”
Fifteen years after receiving her son’s terrible diagnosis, Michelle can’t help but smile and laugh at the joy she gets from the everyday problems of being the mom of a teenager, like riding him to do more homework and less video-gaming.
Cancer recurrence is a distinct possibility, so Jordan continues going to Toronto for checkups, but those terrible hours for Michelle watching her infant child go through lasers in his eyes and chemotherapy running through his tiny body seem like a distant nightmare. And now, because of linking up with Helping Families, she and Jordan have a community that includes social events, and importantly, relationships with families who instantly understand problems most people won’t even let themselves think about, “We’re a part of a group. One you never want to join, but I could not be more grateful.”
Shared with permission from Jordan and his family.
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